.a quick hello and a short film.

Hello!  :)

Here's a really neat, short clip that I found in my Inbox today from the Anthropologist.  Makes me want to get in a canoe (or in Derek Henderson's case, an inner tube) and simply float along the river, with my camera of course.  Wishing you well!

 

.time to think.

There's something that happens when you don't spend as much time online as you used to:  you have more time to think and to actually do things.  This is a big reason for my minimal presence here in Blogland and Cyberville.  Bare with me though, I will be back online a little more with hopefully more to say and more to show you.

Things are changing. . . for the good.  Metamorphosis.  That's always been the word I'd use to explain what I feel like is happening to me.  Maybe you can relate?  My camera has been sitting on the shelf more often than I had planned but it's only because there are plans in my head that I hope to bring to fruition.  Patience.  That is what I am learning right now.  Patience with myself.  I've always been the impulsive type, which in many ways has probably hindered more than helped, but I'm seeing that time is on my side if only I would use it well.  I feel more alive now than I have in a long time and to be able to say that is. . . awesome.

This is a short one but I wanted to say HI.  I'll be taking a break for a few weeks and hopefully by then, I will be back with a ROAR!  ;)  Take care friends. 

.turning the page to write a new chapter.

The blank page.  It stares at me, wide-eyed and anxious, like a full audience waiting for the opening act to begin.  I am intimidated by this and somehow manage to put myself into a mild case of ‘stage fright’.  What do I say?  Where do I even begin?  Will I sound stupid?!  Then, as if a voice from behind the curtain shouts ‘Start with right now!’ I pick up my pen,  and begin to write. 

New chapters.  From the moment we decided to make this crazy move to North Carolina, I now feel like I’m actually ready to write the ‘next chapter’, the one that hopefully will be less painful and tumultuous than the previous.  In the last chapter, May:  The Month I Seriously Thought I Was Going to Go Postal,  my stress level was up so high that I have ten, TEN, new white hairs on my head (that of which I can see anyway) to prove it.  From the aftermath of the Nashville flood, to difficulties finding employment, landing an actual place to live in Wilmington, to watching our bank accounts drain out.  Yes, I am ready to start another chapter. 

An opportunity to change.  That’s what this whole move has been about.  It wasn’t just about moving to make a change of scenery, although yes, I truly enjoy the fact that we only live 20 minutes from the beach, and yes, I know it’s hurricane season.  We needed a lifestyle change. From what we ate, to how we filled up our day, our lives had become stagnant and unhealthy for far too long.  This is what needed to change, for our health, for our sanity, for our creativity, for our daughter.  Although we are not living in quite the ideal situation yet (because we are now broke as heck) we are working our way up slowly.  The words prioritizing and budgeting are no longer gibberish in our vocabulary.  Our fridge is not packed with junk, instead it is filled with lots of water and produce!  As a family, we take our walks around our little neighborhood in the evenings after dinner, which has allowed us to meet several of our neighbors.  I’ve had more time to actually sit and read (what few books I still had that survived the flood).  More time to play and soak up some Vitamin D with the little one.  I seriously want a bike!  Already, I can see the good that has come from making this move even though for a while there, we were starting to think that this was a dumb idea.  Our instincts were right, this was a good move.

I’ve been reading Visionmongers, by David duChemin, lately and there was something he wrote that really struck a chord with me.  Although he wrote it with photography in mind, I feel that these words really can be applied to life in general. 

Whatever the next step for you is, take it boldly. 

These are not the times for the timid;

 there’s no reward in tiptoeing through life

only to make it safely to death.

This is where I am right now, in a dilapidated old place, with very few things, yet so full of gratitude for my beautiful family, my wonderful friends, and the opportunity to start taking those bolder steps.  There’s still so much to do, like painting the place, clearing out the shed to turn it into our ‘creativity hut’, starting an herb garden, making photos, and. . . AND. . . being happy.  Isn't that the point to it all?  To simply be happy.        

.a brief update.

Hello my dear friends!  Before I go on, I first wanted to say thank you, thank you, THANK YOU for all the beautiful words of encouragement in my last post.  Things have not been easy but, yes and it's a BIG BUT, we are doing fine.  Sometimes lessons are hidden in the form of trials.  I can honestly say that I truly recognize the struggles we have had over the last two months as such.  This is good.  It means growth.  For me, for my family. 

Right now, my mind has been clearer than it has been in YEARS!  When you are down to the bare essentials, with very little distraction, it's amazing how much more 'awake' you feel.  That's where I'm at now.  Unfortunately, being down to the bare essentials also means that there is little finances to actually get my internet up and going from home.  Therefore, my online time has been limited to runs to the local coffee shop in order to check emails.  So forgive me if my presence here and my visits to you have been less frequent than I would hope, but that will change soon. 

Like I said, this is going to be a brief update.  I hope you are well and enjoying the summer sun!  Until later my friends, take care!!  

.good afternoon, sunday.

Hello friends. Where do I even begin?! Today I write to you from Nashville, yes, Nashville. We have returned here, briefly, to take care of several things, including cleaning out the storage unit that contained all our belongings. Most of what we had decided to keep after our moving sale was in that unit. While viewing YouTube videos of the insane destruction that occurred due to the floods that hit the Nashville area on May 1st & 2nd, we saw a video that actually showed the exact location where our storage unit was. Sure enough, ours was flooded out. Then we found out that the insurance company that was used by the storage company has denied everyone's claim because our policy did not have "flood coverage". What should have been a liberating start to our first week in Wilmington became a one of stress and tension instead. As much as I tried to remind myself of the fact that we were trying to "simplify" it was hard to come to grips with the fact that the few things we held dear were now gone. We returned to Nashville last Tuesday. We made a trip to the unit and if it wasn't hard enough to know everything was underwater, it was harder to see things taken over by mold and the awful, musty stench of sewer and chemical filled water. Photos were ruined beyond recognition. Even now, it's hard for me to think about without feeling absolutely nauseated. We still have a few more things to clear out. I took pictures of a lot of things, but honestly, I need to move beyond this. Others have lost much more than we did and I need to remember that. Entire homes were swept away. The lives of loved ones taken. We are still here. That's what should matter.

To be honest, I'm not sure how this adventure will play out. I admit, I'm a little numb. We are still looking for a place. Harder than we thought it would be. With that said, good things have happened; my husband starts his new job in Wilmington this week, we have met some awesome new folks, we have played in the water and sand. ;) Good things will and are happening. Life definitely has its way of throwing curve balls your way. I'm trying to do my best to hit those bad boys out of the park.

Hope you all are doing well. Once things settle, I'll be back to catch up with all of you, until then, take care!

.we are here.

Dear friends, we have made it to the sea.  It has been a bittersweet voyage considering what took place just hours after we left our former home.  What we little belongings we had left in Nashville was destroyed.  All that we have now is what we have brought with us and of course, each other.  My words are a little tangled right now.  I will return soon to share more with you, but until that time. . . I want to share with you a beautiful message that was sent to me by an equally beautiful soul.  Thank you Niru. 

Look to this day
For it is life, the very life of life.
In its brief course
Lie all the verities and realities of your existence.

The bliss of growth,
The glory of action,
The splendour of achievement
Are but experiences of time.

For yesterday is but a dream
And tomorrow is only a vision;
And today well-lived, makes
Yesterday a dream of happiness
And every tomorrow a vision of hope.

Look well therefore to this day;
Such is the salutation to the ever-new dawn!
~Kalidasa

.reflections and windows.

Our last week here in Nashville, before our Journey to the Sea adventure, has been bittersweet. As I reflect back on all that's taken place since our decision to move back to Nashville little over a year and a half ago, I see that it was definitely not in vain. Many of the relationships that I left behind nearly five years ago, during a very tumultuous time in my life, are healing, many of them mended. This move to yet another place we have never been is not the same as the one I made back then. This time, I am not running away. This time, I am moving forward, confident yet a little nervous, towards my dream, towards a better life for myself and my family. Yes, I realize that the grass isn't always greener on the other side. They get mowed the exact same way. The difference here is that I'll like the view a whole lot better.

I woke up this morning, took a shower, and as I was getting ready for the day, I happened to look up and caught the reflection of the bedroom window on the glass of the shadow box that showcases my earrings. The light was soft and peaceful shining through the blinds and curtain. I stood there taking in the steady breathing of my love and our beautiful child who were both still fast asleep. This is good. What we are doing, this move, these changes, they are all good. Windows of opportunity have presented themselves and as a family, we are jumping through them.

There were three pieces of scrap paper, with my handwriting on them, that I found at the bottom of a box I was sorting through. I don't remember when I copied these words down, but here is what they say. . .

Promise yourself to be strong, that nothing can disturb your
peace of mind. Look at the sunny side of everything and make
your optimism come true. Think only of the best, work only for the best,
and expect only the best. Forget the mistakes of the past and press
on to the greater achievements of the future. Give so much time to
the improvement of yourself that you have no time to criticize others.
Live in the faith that the whole world is on your side so long as you
are true to the best that is in you! ~ Christian D. Larson

Live with intention.

Walk to the edge.

Listen hard.

Practice wellness.

Play with abandon.

Laugh.

Choose with no regret.

Continue to learn.

Appreciate your friends.

Do what you love.

Live as if this is all there is.

~ Mary Anne Radmacher

Peace.

It does not mean to be in a place

where there is no noise, trouble

or hard work. It mean to be in the

midst of those things and still be

calm in your heart.

~ Anon.