Wednesday, June 23, 2010

.time to think.

There's something that happens when you don't spend as much time online as you used to:  you have more time to think and to actually do things.  This is a big reason for my minimal presence here in Blogland and Cyberville.  Bare with me though, I will be back online a little more with hopefully more to say and more to show you.

Things are changing. . . for the good.  Metamorphosis.  That's always been the word I'd use to explain what I feel like is happening to me.  Maybe you can relate?  My camera has been sitting on the shelf more often than I had planned but it's only because there are plans in my head that I hope to bring to fruition.  Patience.  That is what I am learning right now.  Patience with myself.  I've always been the impulsive type, which in many ways has probably hindered more than helped, but I'm seeing that time is on my side if only I would use it well.  I feel more alive now than I have in a long time and to be able to say that is. . . awesome.

This is a short one but I wanted to say HI.  I'll be taking a break for a few weeks and hopefully by then, I will be back with a ROAR!  ;)  Take care friends. 

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

.turning the page to write a new chapter.

new leaf new chapter
The blank page.  It stares at me, wide-eyed and anxious, like a full audience waiting for the opening act to begin.  I am intimidated by this and somehow manage to put myself into a mild case of ‘stage fright’.  What do I say?  Where do I even begin?  Will I sound stupid?!  Then, as if a voice from behind the curtain shouts ‘Start with right now!’ I pick up my pen,  and begin to write. 

New chapters.  From the moment we decided to make this crazy move to North Carolina, I now feel like I’m actually ready to write the ‘next chapter’, the one that hopefully will be less painful and tumultuous than the previous.  In the last chapter, May:  The Month I Seriously Thought I Was Going to Go Postal,  my stress level was up so high that I have ten, TEN, new white hairs on my head (that of which I can see anyway) to prove it.  From the aftermath of the Nashville flood, to difficulties finding employment, landing an actual place to live in Wilmington, to watching our bank accounts drain out.  Yes, I am ready to start another chapter. 

An opportunity to change.  That’s what this whole move has been about.  It wasn’t just about moving to make a change of scenery, although yes, I truly enjoy the fact that we only live 20 minutes from the beach, and yes, I know it’s hurricane season.  We needed a lifestyle change. From what we ate, to how we filled up our day, our lives had become stagnant and unhealthy for far too long.  This is what needed to change, for our health, for our sanity, for our creativity, for our daughter.  Although we are not living in quite the ideal situation yet (because we are now broke as heck) we are working our way up slowly.  The words prioritizing and budgeting are no longer gibberish in our vocabulary.  Our fridge is not packed with junk, instead it is filled with lots of water and produce!  As a family, we take our walks around our little neighborhood in the evenings after dinner, which has allowed us to meet several of our neighbors.  I’ve had more time to actually sit and read (what few books I still had that survived the flood).  More time to play and soak up some Vitamin D with the little one.  I seriously want a bike!  Already, I can see the good that has come from making this move even though for a while there, we were starting to think that this was a dumb idea.  Our instincts were right, this was a good move.

I’ve been reading Visionmongers, by David duChemin, lately and there was something he wrote that really struck a chord with me.  Although he wrote it with photography in mind, I feel that these words really can be applied to life in general. 

Whatever the next step for you is, take it boldly. 
These are not the times for the timid;
 there’s no reward in tiptoeing through life
only to make it safely to death.

This is where I am right now, in a dilapidated old place, with very few things, yet so full of gratitude for my beautiful family, my wonderful friends, and the opportunity to start taking those bolder steps.  There’s still so much to do, like painting the place, clearing out the shed to turn it into our ‘creativity hut’, starting an herb garden, making photos, and. . . AND. . . being happy.  Isn't that the point to it all?  To simply be happy.        

Saturday, June 5, 2010

.a brief update.

Hello my dear friends!  Before I go on, I first wanted to say thank you, thank you, THANK YOU for all the beautiful words of encouragement in my last post.  Things have not been easy but, yes and it's a BIG BUT, we are doing fine.  Sometimes lessons are hidden in the form of trials.  I can honestly say that I truly recognize the struggles we have had over the last two months as such.  This is good.  It means growth.  For me, for my family. 

Right now, my mind has been clearer than it has been in YEARS!  When you are down to the bare essentials, with very little distraction, it's amazing how much more 'awake' you feel.  That's where I'm at now.  Unfortunately, being down to the bare essentials also means that there is little finances to actually get my internet up and going from home.  Therefore, my online time has been limited to runs to the local coffee shop in order to check emails.  So forgive me if my presence here and my visits to you have been less frequent than I would hope, but that will change soon. 

Like I said, this is going to be a brief update.  I hope you are well and enjoying the summer sun!  Until later my friends, take care!!