Wednesday, June 9, 2010

.turning the page to write a new chapter.

new leaf new chapter
The blank page.  It stares at me, wide-eyed and anxious, like a full audience waiting for the opening act to begin.  I am intimidated by this and somehow manage to put myself into a mild case of ‘stage fright’.  What do I say?  Where do I even begin?  Will I sound stupid?!  Then, as if a voice from behind the curtain shouts ‘Start with right now!’ I pick up my pen,  and begin to write. 

New chapters.  From the moment we decided to make this crazy move to North Carolina, I now feel like I’m actually ready to write the ‘next chapter’, the one that hopefully will be less painful and tumultuous than the previous.  In the last chapter, May:  The Month I Seriously Thought I Was Going to Go Postal,  my stress level was up so high that I have ten, TEN, new white hairs on my head (that of which I can see anyway) to prove it.  From the aftermath of the Nashville flood, to difficulties finding employment, landing an actual place to live in Wilmington, to watching our bank accounts drain out.  Yes, I am ready to start another chapter. 

An opportunity to change.  That’s what this whole move has been about.  It wasn’t just about moving to make a change of scenery, although yes, I truly enjoy the fact that we only live 20 minutes from the beach, and yes, I know it’s hurricane season.  We needed a lifestyle change. From what we ate, to how we filled up our day, our lives had become stagnant and unhealthy for far too long.  This is what needed to change, for our health, for our sanity, for our creativity, for our daughter.  Although we are not living in quite the ideal situation yet (because we are now broke as heck) we are working our way up slowly.  The words prioritizing and budgeting are no longer gibberish in our vocabulary.  Our fridge is not packed with junk, instead it is filled with lots of water and produce!  As a family, we take our walks around our little neighborhood in the evenings after dinner, which has allowed us to meet several of our neighbors.  I’ve had more time to actually sit and read (what few books I still had that survived the flood).  More time to play and soak up some Vitamin D with the little one.  I seriously want a bike!  Already, I can see the good that has come from making this move even though for a while there, we were starting to think that this was a dumb idea.  Our instincts were right, this was a good move.

I’ve been reading Visionmongers, by David duChemin, lately and there was something he wrote that really struck a chord with me.  Although he wrote it with photography in mind, I feel that these words really can be applied to life in general. 

Whatever the next step for you is, take it boldly. 
These are not the times for the timid;
 there’s no reward in tiptoeing through life
only to make it safely to death.

This is where I am right now, in a dilapidated old place, with very few things, yet so full of gratitude for my beautiful family, my wonderful friends, and the opportunity to start taking those bolder steps.  There’s still so much to do, like painting the place, clearing out the shed to turn it into our ‘creativity hut’, starting an herb garden, making photos, and. . . AND. . . being happy.  Isn't that the point to it all?  To simply be happy.        


  1. As always, such a beautiful and inspiring post... from a beautiful and inspiring woman. I know I say it everytime, but I am SO happy for and proud of you! Continue to make a beautiful life with your family, my friend :)

  2. i always tell my sister when i feel like i've hit rock bottom, that it's always upwards from there. i love what you've written here...and i firmly believe you are on the way up, up, up.

    that being said, i do wish you were in nashville - i have a spare ticket to see patty griffin at the ryman.

  3. kat ..i am so happy to see you here of your family being together and the steps you have taken sound just right for now!! i am keeping yo in my thoughts..I would love to send a bird to you in your new place...blessings friend

  4. You are a brave and strong soul .kat. ! The new journey doesn't sound easy and it's probably taking you places you didn't even dream of. Things in life never happen for no reason. I like the quote you chose from David duChemin. Keep looking ahead, and up.


Just so you know. . . you've already brightened my day!